Mae Krell

better than this

lately life’s felt like
one of those dreams where everything looks the same
with one small detail changed
so you spend your whole day questioning
hours searching for a meaning

lately i’ve felt like you’re tired of me crying about dreams
where everything felt right
I wake up knowing that something is missing
think I forgot it in that dream

I, I’ve left myself behind
and I fear i’ve reached my ceiling
I won’t ever be better
better than this

my latest worry is that I was never
as sick as they thought
piled on medication, sent away
came back the same I always was
but now questioning my thoughts

my oldest worry is that I’ll end up
too much for everyone
who i’ve ever loved
if I open my mouth a bit too much
so I cry
and I kiss the dogs goodnight

I, I’ve left myself behind
and I fear I’ve reached my ceiling
I won’t ever be better
better than this

I fear i’ve reached my ceiling
I won’t ever be better
better than this