rest stop

your number’s off my phone
but I didn’t hit delete
I could dial in my head
bet you’d leave my thoughts on read

your voice was hanging by a thread 
it’s still the button that you pressed
wanted to talk it out
but my mail kept bouncing back

did you find out i’m a liar? 
or were my feelings far too much?
you taught me not to apologize
but now it seems that’s what you want

i’ve been much worse than this
am I not yours unless i’m sick?
was I better to be around
when you had to pull me out?

I know i’m not alone
but you don’t pick up your phone anymore
anymore

I walked out in the cold
and swept up my whole street
hoped i’d find you under the snow
but I just got chattering teeth

you said you’d never leave
late night calls under the sheets
told me to throw my jackets out
then you turned off the heat 

i’ve been much worse than this
am I not yours unless i’m sick?
was I better to be around
when you had to pull me out?

I know i’m not alone
but you don’t pick up your phone anymore
anymore

I cried at a rest stop
in a state I didn’t know

I want to erase all of this, begin again
but I don’t want to go back to the places i’ve been 
and I know
I know
I know
that my ideas aren’t healthy, at least not now
but I chose to get out of my car, somehow

i’ve been much worse than this
am I not yours unless i’m sick?
was I better to be around
when you had to pull me out?

I know i’m not alone
but you don’t pick up your phone anymore
anymore